#162: "What Shall I Wear...?!"

...a life-long question I've been asking myself, and others, for as long as I can remember... And it's a stupid question at that! You're always gonna go with your original decision, or your gut instinct anyway, so why bother asking? Why worry, so much?

I'd say I'm guilty when it comes to worrying too much. Usually about upsetting friends, or over-analysing a situation, but not so much about people's opinions of me. If people look down on me, etc. The people who do can quite frankly, fuck off. I only worry about people I care about. So why the uncertainty in general, then?

I've put it down to subconsciously wanting to be reassured about something. Whether it's about what you're wearing, or just about life, in general.

How many times a day do you base a decision on what you think someone else would want, rather than what you would really want? Sometimes, it's appropriate, if we don't want to upset someone, when it really matters, but other times, why bother?

Lets make our own decisions shall we? 

#161: Cabot's Calling!

Bristol again! Why not? But this time I was with my good friend, Carla!

With me working plenty, and Carla finishing all of her uni work, we needed a typical girly shopping trip.

We got really tired just after the first shop, and had to have a fucking coffee break... Pretty poor. But it was hilarious catching up.

Lush: Celestial Facial Moisturiser, and a Karma Perfume Stick.

Urban Outfitters: Browsing at potential vinyl I could buy to kick start my record collection.

M&S: Tights! Tights! And more fucking tights! It was full having to spend close to half an hour trying to find the right size, colour, shade, and price, but it had to be done!

New Look: Trying on different tops and dresses, until a couple of black and white crops were chosen. I also had Carla's 10% Student Discount. Cheers!

It was lovely to see Carla, for the second time in probably about 6 months, and it hopefully won't be too long until I see her again.

#160: A Fairytale Called Download

Once upon a time, there lived a princess, named Simone. She was a princess of rock, and the sound of a guitar would follow, wherever her footsteps trod.

Simone knew of a magical land, that only appeared for 5 nights, once a year. On the 6th day, it would fade away to dust, sink into the mud, and this magical kingdom could only be revisited through photographs, videos, and the power of the imagination... That was only until the following year of course. Only then, new memories, dreams, and wishes could be created.

This magical kingdom, boys and girls, was named Download Festival!

***

I used to look forward to visiting Download every year. I would call it my second home,  save up every little penny I had, so that I would be able to afford to go. Even to the point where I would put myself in debt with my family and friends, for months afterwards, just so that I wouldn't miss out on the event.

If I couldn't afford a ticket, I would be miserable, moody, and take my frustration out on those closest to me, for weeks.

I'm sorry to say it, but I'm really not joking. It really was that bad! It was so bad that last year, I decided, a day before the festival had opened to the rest of the public, that I was not going to sit around at home, feeling miserable about not being able to go, and that I was DEFINITELY GOING! ...Despite the fact that all the tickets had sold out, and that I didn't have a penny to my name.

However, the happy ending to the fairytale is that I did manage to go!

I am an incredibly determined woman, when I want to be. If I want something enough, I will usually get it. It's the spoilt little girl that lives within me, who always gets her way, and won't take "no" for an answer. Some love her. Some hate her. But for what it's worth, I'm grateful she's there. She helps me do the impossible. She encourages me to say "stick it!" to the people who tell me I can't do something, for no real reason, when I know I can, and she has made me who I am today. Nice one, bitch.

My very generous sister, Louise, found me someone who was unable to attend the festival, and so, she loaned me the money to buy the ticket from him. Plus money to have enough to enjoy myself. I said then, and I still say to this very day, that I am eternally grateful for that favour! Thank you.

I had a fantastic festival. I met some great people, that I still keep in contact with now. I also know that I have people I can count on, because when you camp with someone at a festival, there is an unbreakable bond... It's weird, and it's hard to describe, but it's true.

However, as sad as it sounds, hearing myself say this, I think I may have reached a point in my life where it is time to put down that old fairytale... I just don't feel those distinctive Download butterflies I once did, from the thought of reliving my Download days. I think that maybe, now I've grown older; I'm wanting to hear a new story. One with a new plot, new characters, and one where I don't know how the story is going to end.

I think now is the  time to pick up a new book.

Because, sometimes it's safer to stick to what you know, but then again, sometimes it's more fun to try something new...!

Whatever you choose, hopefully we'll all live happily ever after!

The End...ish!

Here are some pictures from my previous Downloalds. In order:

2006 - Rose, Oliver, Me, and Jamie, Mon morning packing up

2008 - Little Chris, Rose, and me, rolling around on poppers

2009 - Me, arriving at Download

2010 - Me,  blown away just after Stone Sour

2012 - Amy, Tom, and Me, arrival, safe and sound, in tent

- Me, Matt, Amy, random, Jess, Whitty, Russ, Beak, 5am sunrise

- Me, Indian head piece.

Song Of The Day: KC & The Sunshine Band - Give It Up.

#159: Raindrops In Tea Cups

Me, Colin, Clare, and Sean had our usual lunch and shopping trip to Bath today.

We had lunch in The Lamb and Lion, and a look around the shops. It was Sean's first clothes shopping trip in as long as he can remember, so he certainly spoilt himself!

I bought a delicious smelling bath bar, for £2.50, which is currently sat on my window sill, letting it's tasty aromas fill the air. I also paid a trip to Topshop, where I bought myself a grey hat from Top Man, (something I've wanted for years!), for £8, and some cream, frilly socks, for £3.50. I then had my usual trip to Urban Outfiters, and bought a pretty little gold, beaded elephant bracelet, which would have been £8, had I not haggled myself 10% off, taking it down to £6.80! ;)

All day it poured, but besides the weather being wet, it was a lovely day. The temperature was mild, and the wind barely blue. I didn't mind it at all.

After returning home, 4 of us, plus my mum, all had different kinds of tea.

Colin: English Breakfast Tea
Me: Liquorice Tea
Sean: Green Tea, with Lemon, and a squirt of honey
Mum: Lemon and Ginger Tea
Clare: Half a cup of Earl Grey, with 2 sugars.

Later, myself and Sean continued with the third season of Breaking Bad, and snacked on Dairy Milk Whole Nut.

Perfection.

#158: Stubborn Silk

There's nothing quite like the feeling of climbing into some new sheets, after a long, hit shower. Especially when those sheets are brand new, pink, silk sheets, you've been dying to slip inside since the day you bought them.

I wasn't the only one who was excited about sleeping in my bed tonight, either. Amber was insisting for hours on end, that she wanted to sleep on my bed tonight. I wasn't to keen on the idea of my dirty, flea-ridden cat, dleeping in mu brand new sheets. But when I put her out, she would return outside my door, and would continuously scratch at the carpet, trying to get inside. When I'd put her outside the house, she'd climb up onto my window sill, peer through the glass at me, and meow... She's incredibly stubborn!

After literally, hours of having her insist, I finally didn't bother putting her outside again, once she'd sneaked inside my room for the 100th time. She curled up on top my cushions, vigorously washed herself, then purred away, as she drifted off. How can I deny something do cute?

I had the opportunity to honour for a few with Colin, and see Andy too, if I had wanted. But after the weekend I had had, I honestly couldn't wait to just snuggle up with my PJs and a hot chocolate, to some GG. So, that's exactly what I did! And now? Sleep... Zzzzzzzzzzzz....

#157: The Brown Derby Experience

Relaxation, after an afternoon of drinking, and an evening of raving hard, had to be had.

A glass of juice, a green tea, and a bowl of porridge, for breakfast. Then shortly afterwards came a spliff, and a Kopperberg, whilst soaking up the sunshine, in the garden. Me, Sean and Squelch chatted about what our perfect three-course meal would consist of. I decided to make us all some chicken pie, and gravy and chips. This then resulted to us wanting some ice cream, so after Squelch went home, we took a trip to Budgens, and I had the best idea I'd had in a long time... I was going to make myself and Sean a Brown Derby!

For anyone who is not familiar with what a Brown Derby is, (which I assume is most of you), it is a pudding that used to be on the menu at Wimpy Bar.

Wimpy Bar was a branch of cafes, mostly based around London, and died out around the late 90's/ early 00's. The last time I ever went to one was in Taunton, when I was about 12. That was the last time I had ever had a Brown Derby. It was the same day as I bought my Sirius Black, Prisoner Of Azkaban Poster, which I still have now.

So, what's a Brown Derby, I hear you ask?! It involved cheating my wheat-free diet, but it being totally worth it...

It's a warm doughnut, topped with vanilla ice cream (Hargandaz in this case!) with crushed nuts sprinkled on top, and drizzled with chocolate sauce. It is incredible! Sean said it was probably the best puffing he had ever had, and we both felt quite emotional whilst eating it!

It was a perfect day. I spent the rest of my evening with Sean, and we watched Breaking Bad, with another joint, and some Hargandaz. A perfect combination!

#156: Lenstaval

Every year, The Skanky Generals, (a group of local D&B, Dubstep artists, and MCs) host a private party, in a secret location. They've named this The Birthday Bashment, as it is usually held at the end of May, in between the dates that most of their birthdays fall.

The parties started a couple of years ago, but since they have started, one of the Skanky Generals, named Lenny, sadly passed away. Now, The Birthday Bashment has become "Lenstaval" and is a tribute to him.

Last year was insane, and this year was just as good! There was some great music, mixing, and an intense atmosphere! It was great to see some familiar faces, and reminisce with some old timers.

Here's to the rest of the many Lenstavals to come!

#155: Perfect Party Preparation

Whilst preparing for a big night out, there are a lot of things you need to consider... Especially when it's a huge rave, that lasts all day, and all night! I've booked a day off work for this day, so I want to be sure I get everything right!

What's the weather going to be like?
How much money am I going to need?
What should I take with me?
Will there be food and drink there?
How am I getting there?
How am I getting back?
Do I have a plan B incase anything goes wrong?

No? ...just me then! I'm incredibly organised when it comes to this sort of thing. With plenty of practice going to many gigs and festivals, I know the essentials off by heart now.

My list for things to bring tomorrow...

Bacci etc.
Lighter X2
Sunglasses
Cider
Water
Cleansing Wipes
Cereal Bars
Chewing Gum
Gloves
Hat
Jumper X2
Blanket
Brush
Deodorant
Plasters

So, now that I've written out my list of essentials, for tomorrow night, I'll write my To Do list for tomorrow's antics, over a cup of hot chocolate...

To Do Tomorrow:

Wake Up
Breakfast
Get Ready
Hoover
Manicure
Leave House - 10:30
Town - 11:00
Home - 12:30
Cook - 13:00
Eat Lunch - 13:30
Start to Party - 14:00
Leave House - 15:00
Arrive at Lenstaval - 15:30

Although, I know some of this won't go quite to plan, due to probably having more of a lie-in than intended, tomorrow, I still know I'm far too organised for my own good! ;)

#154: Love Yourself! <3

I wish I could post about something productive, but today has just been one of those days... However, I did make a delicious jalfrezi curry, this evening, for me and Colin. I've also spent the day tidying my room, so it should be finished by tomorrow night, along with my brand new bed covers! <3

In other news, I decided to buy myself some flowers and chocolate today... Because sometimes you just need a pick-me-up... And who says you shouldn't love yourself?!

#153: Toni & Guy

When I was 14 years old, I was introduced to a hair brush, by my best friend... There's a sentence I never thought I'd hear myself say!

Basically, as ridiculous as this sounds, this hair brush changed my life... OK! My hair's life, I mean. Before, I used to use crappy plastic brushes from Claire's Accessories, and now I was feeling like a big haired beauty queen!

A few years later, I bought my own, and have had the brush for years. Now? I've bought myself a brand new one! To go with my new Toni & Guy, and Aussie hair products. My! What a girlie, self indulgent blog post!

Song Of The Day: Bjork - Army Of Me.

#152: In The Crystalline Knowledge Of You

Another spontaneous open mic was on the cards, after spending a fun afternoon with Sean.

I spent my evening before open mic practising singing and playing Crystal, by Stevie Nicks, on Sean's black beauty, Ebony.

I got up and did a couple of songs with my ex, which was pretty crazy. We've had a hell of a ride over the past year, but it was good to finally move past things. And what better way to do so than with a song?

I also finally took my old Fender acoustic with me, for Ross to have a look at, so I can finally get it fixed.

So, as my phone had been out battery all day, I didn't get a chance to take any pictures. Instead, I will post a picture of me, 7 years old, with my beloved Fender... :)

Song Of The Day: Stevie Nicks - Crystal

#151: Catching Up

At 12:30, I got picked up by Andy, and we did our usual. We headed to Cabot's Circus, had some food, looked around the shops, then went to the cinema.

In Frankie & Benny's, I started out my meal with a Cosmopolitan. I didn't realise how very alcoholic this was of me, until I remembered that it was 13:30, and I had not eaten all day. Oops! But I soon filled myself up on olives, BBQ chicken wings (my favourite!), and a chicken Caeser salad. I had a delicious, ice-cold, orange and passion fruit smoothie, to accompany my meal. Andy described this smoothie as a J2o on steroids, which I thought was a very accurate description. Then I had Neopoliton ice cream to finish off.

After a little look around the shops, we went to watch Iron Man 3 in 3D. I love watching the comic book inspired movies.

Ever since I was about 3 or 4, I have been a huge fan of Batman, which is probably what influenced my love of cats so much. So Iron Man 3 was a pretty good shout.

I thought the first Iron Man film was excellent, 2 was good, but not as good as the first, and 3 was excellent! It was a very good end to the trilogy, with Robert Downy Jr. as Iron Man, and it had a great story line. It reminded me quite a bit of Terminator 2, which has got to be a win.

After we had headed home, I went back into town to meet Lucy, who I haven't seen since January. We met in The Crown, and shared a bottle of Rose Zinfandel between us. After a bifg catch up on the latest events, and working up an appetite, a spontaneous trip to Tesco was in order. I grabbed all the ingredients to make myself another wheat free based pizza, along with a lot of chocolate, and some breakfast goodies, such as porridge, blueberries, juice, and blueberry muffins, and headed to Sean's for a midnight snack!

So it's been a very sociable day! I've seen 3 of my best friends, and I've also kept up my wheat free diet! I started to cheat with it a bit recently, and was suffering with the consequences, so I decided to cut it out completely, once again, starting from today. And it's going well so far...!

Song Of The Day: The Temptations - My Girl

#150: Wheat Free Pizza!

I haven't done an awful lot today, as it's been a very lazy day...

However, I did make a wheat free pasta, with red peppers, black olives, and red onions, and extra cheese!

Now, I know I have already done a wheat free related blog post, however, the picture I posted on Facebook sparked up a conversation with my sister's best friend Nikki. She thinks she may also have an intolerance. Advice was given, and a challenge was accepted. It's an incredibly difficult thing to give up, and I cheat my diet all the tine. So to her, and to anyone else who is thinking of giving it up, I wish you the best of luck!

Song Of The Day: Tegan and Sara - Want To Be Bad.

#149: Pegg, Frost, and Wright

For years now, ever since Spaced first aired on Chanel 4 in 1999, I have been a huge fan of the actors Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost, along with the incredible director, Edgar Wright. My brother, Colin, and our friend Clare are also both big fans of the boys.

When I first saw a trailer for Shaun Of The Dead, I was unbelievably excited, knowing that there was going to be so much more to come from these guys. Shaun Of The Dead was one of my favourite films, for years. I used to quote in constantly. So, you can only imagine how excited I was when I found out that these guys where heading to my home town, to film a new movie!

Edgar Wright used to live in Wells, and went to my school, The Blue School.

I remember finding out that Simon, and Edgar were planning on holding a big meeting in the town hall, for all the locals, to discuss the nature of what was to be expected,for the people of Wells, and what was to be expected for the fans.

I remember seeing Simon chatting away to fans, and I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him. My main topic was Harry Potter, as I knew he was a huge Potter Geek too. I asked him what house he would have been in, if at Hogwarts, to which he replied, "I was in... Gryffinfor." As I thought that this was my house also, at the time, I was very happy about this, which I'm sure he could tell, as I bounced about, then ran away... I had my photo with him, whilst wearing a Hufflepuff scarf, and another with him, Edgar, and a local Policeman.

I used to go along to watch the filming, which is where I met, and shook hands with Nick Frost, after asking him where we were supposed to be standing. I used to thrive on watching every little detail that happened behind the scenes, as at the time, I wanted to work in the film industry.

When Hot Fuzz finally did come out, being at school, with the hype, surrounded by people constantly talking about it, really ruined it for me. When I viewed it at the cinema, people were laughing at parts which weren't even supposed to be funny, and I found myself distracted throughout by idiots... That film was over for me.

I didn't end up watching it again until years later, after I had left school, and after the hype had finally disappeared. But once I finally did watch it for a second time, I fell in love with it, just as I had wanted to, originally.

Paul was amazing, but it wasn't part if the trilogy, so it doesn't count.

And now... World's End is due to come to cinemas very soon! The last if the trilogy. With the same name as my favourite pub in Camden! The one with the green Cornetto in it!

Let me explain...

The boys had planned to include Cornettos in their trilogy of films. Shaun Of The Dead had strawberry, to go with the theme of the movie, ie: red= blood. Hot Fuzz had blue for police. And The World's End has green for... We're thinking Aliens!

The boys decided to do this very thing, as their three favourite genres of film are zombie horror, police action, and sci-fi... And my! What a mark they've made!

Whenever Col asks me if I want anything from the shops, I reply with, "...Cornetto." And whenever I walk through the back of Co-Op (formally a Somerfield), I think of "Here come the fuzz...!"

A huge blog post, dedicated to you three champions. Keep doing what you do best! With love, from me, to you! x x x

Song Of The Day: Trivium - Dying In Your Arms.

#148: Detoxing

I feel like I've aged about 5 years after last night's spontaneous antics... Starting back at the gym, and having a major detoxing sesh needs to happen, and soon!

I'm planning on having a pretty heavy one next Saturday, so I'm thinking the rest of the week needs to be about healthy eating, cutting out the cigarettes and alcohol, (not in the Oasis sense though, as you can never have too much Oasis! ...Unless you're with Sean! Ha!)

To start myself off, porridge, with banana, honey, and cinnamon, with some secret extra blueberries, from Coffee No.1.

Song Of The Day: Daft Punk (Feat. Pharell Williams) - Lucky.

#147: Weston With The Lads!

So, Go Karting was originally on the cards... But that got rearranged to next week. So what was on the cards this evening? Weston Super Mare! I told myself, grab a cab home between 23:00 - 00:00, so I can make it to work without being absolutely shattered... And here I am, in a hotel room, in WSM, with the grand pier outside my window, at 01:30, after a night out of cocktails, and clubbing...

Song Of The Day: Guns & Roses - Sweet Child Of Mine

#146: A Big Decision...

It has always been my dream to travel around, meet new people, learn about different cultures, and sing my heart out.

It has also always been a fantasy of mine to get a career, house, kid or two, and marriage... But I'm only 22, so lets not be too hasty!

My reasons for mentioning these things is because I have been faced with a big dilemma. One of life's big decisions has hit me, again...

Option 1: Carry on with my training in Optics, part time, for a company who offer great benefits. Maybe eventually become a manager or trainer, (but my hearts not truly in it).

Or...

Option 2: Take up my admin job full time, and travel around the UK, with builders, for fantastic money... (But not getting any qualifications out of it).

What should I do?

If I travel about doing this admin job, I'm scared that one day, I'm not going to be able to get anything out of it, if I want a career change.

However, if I don't do it, I'm scared I will regret it. An opportunity like this doesn't come around very often, and it would be foolish to turn it down.

The fact I find myself contemplating makes me worry even more. Isn't this my dream? Shouldn't I be jumping at the chance? Yes, I should. So why am I not?

Part of me feels that the reason is because I am scared of making this decision. It's very vague, and I'm also afraid that I will not be able to learn any new skills. However, this will give me a chance to earn a lot if money to go travelling eventually, and I can learn whatever skills I desire, in my spare time , in the evenings. Such as guitar, or Spanish. I can go back to Wells on the odd weekend, to see friends and family.

I've reached a point in my life now where I feel I am finished with Wells. I've lived here for 13 years, and I could really do with a change.

Can I do this? Should I?!

Song Of The Day: Boyce Avenue - Somebody That I Used To Know (Gotye cover).

#145: Inspiring Open Mic

I got a messaged on Facebook, yesterday, from the man who runs open mic, at The Kings Head on Tuesday evenings. Ross. He expressed his concern for the open Mics, at The King's Head, mentioning that they may be on their way out.

At work earlier, I had a sudden realisation that going to open mic, would be a definite to do, this evening...

There were so many talented people here this evening. Myself, and Sean performed four songs together.

This year is for new experiences... Lets use this one, and go with it!

Song Of The Day: Oasis - Live Forever

#144: Primani

I absolutely LOVE Primark! I know I should probably be saving, instead of spending money, but how can you refuse when everything is so cheap?!

Saturday night after work, I grabbed the bus to Bristol, went into Primark, bought myself a white Hendrix vest, and a pair of black summer wedges.

And today? I went in to by a Bowie t-shirt, and came out with that, plus a new set of peach satin bed covers, with black lace, a new sheet, and a black, Diamonte cushion. I just wish I had also bought the bright green dinosaur onesie, for only £12! ...Definitely next time.

Once I had finally got home, I bunged on my new Bowie tee, cooked a pasta, and watched the young ones.

Song of the day: Cliff Richard (The Young Ones' Version) - The Young Ones

#143: Dream Theatre

Today, I saw Lee for the first time in about a year. It's been awesome. We had a delicious lunch, then headed to the park to feed the ducks. As soon as the bread was taken from the bag, pigeons from all over the park flew to gather the rashings. Lee befriended a little black pigeon, and had it land on his hand a fair few times.

Afterwards, we saw our mates Duvs, Dave, and Olly, and watched old school comedies, such as Red Dwarf, Bottom, and Alan Partridge.

We then grabbed some chips, curry sauce, and chicken balls, and headed to the cinema, to watch the new Star Trek movie.

I was so shattered, I ended up falling in and out of sleep. Although I missed a lot of the film, part of me kind of enjoyed my experience. I've had multiple dreams where I've dreamt that I have been with a group of friends, in the cinema, and I have fallen asleep. This evening, I did that very thing. It was nice to see the reality of what my dream would be like. It turns out, the dream is pretty much exactly the same as the reality, and you feel as if you are dreaming whilst you are in the reality... I've never really had that before, so it was definitely a great experience.

Song of the day: Boyce Avenue - Just The Way You Are, (Bruno Mars cover).

#142: Beautiful Music

I've been up since 06:00, it is now 3am. Bristol is at present.

Walking in the rain, as the sun was setting, was probably something i should have taken a picture of, but failed to think of the idea.

Smoked salmon, and cream cheese sandwiches, with Walker's Sensations. Discovering beautiful music, from Joe and Luke. Here's a picture of us three, a couple of weeks ago.

And have a listen to this! <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="">
Song Of The Day: Branco Koprivisa - Sex On Fire.

http://youtu.be/D2PylYf7ZUk

#141: Sleeping...

It's been a long, tiring day... I overslept, and had to get a cab into work, so that I wouldn't be late, but then ended up getting stuck in traffic, and being late anyway. Then I had to go food shopping, walk home, cook dinner, tidy up, etc. etc. moan moan moan. Boring! Shut up.

"L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N!"

But to be fair, most of my evening has been taken up with both these things, snd by preparing myself mentally and physically for another weekend in Bristol. Therefore, I now have nothing to blog about, besides my moans. Sorry! So let's make it interesting...

About a week ago, I heard about this app that you can get on the iPhone. It's called "Sleep Cycle" and shows you a graph of your sleep pattern throughout the night. It shows you when you are almost, or are awake, when you're sleeping, when you're in a deep sleep, and how long for. It also shows you the percentage quality of your your night's sleep, and compare's your results to previous night's.

And last night. Around 50% odd, with around 4 hours... You can see why I'm a little grumpy.

Here's a picture of last night's sleep pattern. Lets hope tonight's will be a bit better!


Song of the day: Corey Hart - Sunglasses at night