#131: Kit

I can't seem to keep away from you, Bristol. You just keep pulling me back in!

I'd left my bank card at my friends' place, so I ended up having to come back to these beautiful city streets, to collect it.

We ended up going for drinks, in Browns, and dinner in a place close by.

Golden chandeliers hung from a tall dark ceiling of crimson. A warmth of atmosphere bounced from wall to wall, as conversations were carried, and echoed out through a hall of many lives lived, and lost. This was a place of history.

Whilst indulged in conversation, a very funny character named Kit, introduced himself to us. He was roughly in his mid 60s, wore a silk jacket and waist coat. A monocle sparkled in his right eye, and playfully fell from under his brow, as he acted surprised at things we spoke about. Quirky pink accessories gleamed, and a wooden cane of wisdom reflected the twinkling lights close by. He told us he was a part time portrait painter, who was also a chef, and had been since he'd left school. He enjoyed cooking roast hog, and Japanese food.

Not even in Glastonbury have I met such an original character, which is only one of the reasons I love this place so much!

I wonder what this city of possibilities could mould this shape of a beautiful woman, into, whilst a lost little girl still lives inside... A rock star would do nicely, but time will tell what this city has for me and my dreams...

#130: Born To Die

My last night in Bristol went quickly, but was enjoyable.

I'm so happy to have met some inspiring individuals. Joe, Luke, and Charlie are three people who I am very happy to say I know. Thanks for introducing us, Liane!

I can't quite pin point what it is I would like to blog about, so I'm going to post these lyrics by Lana Del Rey instead...

Feet don't fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I'm hoping that the gates,
They'll tell me that you're mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you're mine
It's like I told you honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause you and I, we were born to die

Lost but now I am found
I can see but once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Tried to take what I could get
Scared that I couldn't find
All the answers, honey

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words,
This is the last time
Cause you and I
We were born to die
We were born to die
We were born to die

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime

Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words
This is the last time
Cause You and I
We were born to die
We were born to die

#129: Origami Stalk

I tend to cheat like this, a lot. I'll always write a blog post the next morning, then set the date back to the night before. Oops! That's what I did with last night's blog post, and it's what I do with most. But as long as I'm blogging about each day, within 24 hours, that shouldn't be a problem, really...

Here's an origami swan I was given, that looks like a stalk!

#128: Life And Death

I ended up spending all day with the lads, watching Netflix, and drinking smoothies. I couldn't go out in the end, because I had none of the things I had brought, with me. It was all at Liane's, and I was unable to collect it, as she was not answering her phone. The reason for that, I later found put, was because her dad had died.

Words can not even begin to describe the agony one must go through when they lose a loved one. I am lucky enough to have never experienced the stealth of death. The feeling of someone being physically ripped away from you, and life itself. Trying their best to hold on, but once it's your time, their's nothing that can be done.

I suppose that's why most of us free spirits live by the rules of no rules at all. Living each day as if its our last, grabbing the bull by the horns and diving head first. Living a life with no regrets, and simply just learning from our mistakes.

I've been thinking a lot about the way I want my life to go, at the moment. I want to live in Bristol, and I want to work in music. Those are two things I decided long ago, but I still don't know how exactly to get them.

I took a walk around the corner of the place I was staying at, and found some beautiful sights. An area full of market stalls, coffee shops and cafes. I need to be here.

#127: Briz Is Da Shiz!

It was all about the travelling around, yesterday.

I had my exam in the morning, and got 83%. But I was also told the only time I smile is when I'm watching the buskers... That put things into perspective.

I travelled home, grabbed my shit, and headed straight back for Bristol.

I met Liane, who had already had her fair share of drinks, and we bussed it up to hers, and got ready. Clothes were swapped, and hearts were stopped!

We met with three lovely colleagues of liane's that welcomed us into their home. And that's when the partying truly started!

A mix of different types of characters can sometimes work quite well with each other, despite the blatant differences. That's what I've learnt this week. The group of friends on my course this week, and so did the lads at this place. I guess that's why The Beatles worked so well!

#126: Rolling A Double On A Hotel

I attempted to perk up my early morning, with a cinnamon latte, and a moist blueberry muffin. It didn't fail.

I spent my lunch sat on a wooden bench, surrounded by hundreds of people, watching a busker project his truly excellent voice down the streets, outside Cabot's Circus.

Last week, when I was in Bristol with Andy, we stopped to watch another busker, who sounded like a cross between Maverick Sabre and Bob Dylan...

So, whilst on my lunch break, watching this busker, I saw the other busker, from when I was with Andy, sat close by. I started chatting to him, and found out some very usual information.

His name was Connor Knapp, and studies Music and Song Writing at Bath uni. This course intrigued me. It sounded like something I would consider doing myself.

Coincidently enough, he had also worked at Vision Express, after he'd left school.

He'd been playing guitar for 2 years, and busking for a year. When not at uni, he spends his time busking, networking, and getting himself out there. He has been criticised, and insulted, along with being asked to play at birthdays and weddings. I have the upmost respect for that.

I love how the smallest decision in your life can change your decisions, and your future drastically.

With a 05:30 - 06:00 start, and up to 3 hours of travelling, I was getting pretty tired of not being able to chill out in Bristol, like the other three people on my course... So, I decided to stay!

We all went out for a couple of drinks, and after I had missed the bus that I was supposed to get home, we went back to the hotel for a meal. Donna hadn't spent her food allowance the night before, so I had a 3 course meal on the hotel. I had prawns with sweet chilli sauce for a starter, vegetable lasagne, for my main, chocolate fudge cake and vanilla ice cream for my pudding, and a glass of wine.

It was like playing Monopoly, landing on a hotel, and not having to pay because I rolled a double!

Afterwards, I stayed in Donna's room, showered, and watched Fresh Meat. It was awesome!

Now for a good nights sleep! :)

#125: Roll Ups on The Roof

It was a cloudy day today, and not just in the sense of the weather. Feelings of confusion continued, and my mood wasn't at its best. But it wasn't anything a tasty meal, and reminiscing, with a roll up couldn't help.

We climbed the shed roof, a place to ponder, and spoke of past, present, and future events. A chat with some friends, and a good place to clear your thoughts, always helps me out. And this place has always been my place of clarity.

Here's a picture of my view last summer. You can see what I mean now, I'm sure...

#124: Crossroads

Waking up at 07:00, 20 minutes before you have to leave the house for work, because you decided to enjoy your free evening from work, the night before, a little differently, isn't an ideal way to start your day! Although, it certainly guarantees you that extra hour's sleep you needed.

Bussing it into Bristol, I got chatting to an old class mate, who I haven't seen in around 4-5 years. We spoke about having to sacrifice your dreams and ambitions, in order to start saving money to put towards those very dreams and ambitions.

Ironic, huh? And somewhere down the line, you just end up moving out, moving in with a partner, getting married, and starting a family, just like every other fucker... Not that that isn't a great thing, but shouldn't we only be doing that once we've pursued what we really want out of life? Where's the dreaming in just settling down when you're not ready to?

I'm glad to be working at Vision Express, and earning money in order to save up to go travelling, but is this really what I want to do as a career?

I was told today that an optical assistant was the last thing someone would expect me to be, when I left school... And they were right! I'm no good at science. I am far more creative than I am mathematical, and it's my dream to work in music. So why am I not pursuing that dream? Because I find it so hard to get into. There is nothing in Wells that can lead me into that field of work. The place closest to perusing that nature of work is in Bristol, which I need money and work for, to be able to live there. So fair enough. I'm saving up money to do that. But I just feel as if I am wasting my time, if I'm not planning on doing this forever.

As I filled in forms, studied diagrams, and wrote out notes into my paper as to what I should really be doing in my life, I felt like I came to a crossroads...

So, where now?

#123: Atmosphere From The Spheres

At work today, I carried on with my read of My Sister's Keeper, and came to end of a chapter. A 12 year old girl, who's sister is dying of lumina, to who she is the blood donor for, tells her story on how her story, of how the story of "The Beginning" would go, if she was the subject of a God, or religion.

She tells a tale about the sun and the moon, that was beautifully heart warming, which you can read from my picture.

Soon afterwards, I found out that tonight is the night of a beautiful meteor shower, where an average if 20 shooting stars can be seen just within an hour!

Unfortunately, as usual, it has been cloudy all day, so we didn't get to see any. However there was definitely something in the atmosphere, that wasn't usual... Animals acting odd, with an energy in the air. Where has this come from? Sometimes, all there is left to do is just to gaze up and have a guess!

#122: The Circle Of Life

Disney fan, or not, what is the one Disney film everyone can say they love? Of course, it's The Lion King.

Today, was the day we finally got round to watching The Lion King, after watching all the other Disney DVD's that were made before it, that I own, in order.

Based on Shakespeare's Hamlet, this film teaches young viewers, aswel as the older ones, life's lessons that must be learnt, and what it means to respect, and be part of the circle of life.

For my 21st birthday, in 2011, my brother bought me tickets to see The Lion King at Lyon Theatre, in London. It was an incredible experience, and one I would recommend to anyone.

One of the greatest things about this film is that it has a perfect combination of comedy, romance, action, drama, and appeals to everyone in a way that it connects with us all on many different levels... Even little kitties! :)

"When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass... And so we are all connected in the great circle of life." - Mufasa.

#121: Sexy Sunshine

At 15:00, I was on my break at work. I decided to head out the back, into the courtyard, and found myself greeted by Spring. A wind was blowing, and a heat was warming. Finally! We're out of the winter. I felt inspired and decided to write a mini poem...

Sunshine! Oh my! Where have you been to?
It's been a long time, since I have seen you.
Prancing around, and strutting your stuff.
Taking of our clothes, with the warmth of your muff.

#120: Night Time Roses

At around 21:30, just as I was tucking myself into bed, to watch Game Of Thrones, there was a knock on my bedroom door. I thought it was my mum, however it was Sean who had turned up for a surprise, with some roses. Spontaneous romance has always been one of my favourites.

What's your favourite thing to be romantic?

#119: Game Of Thrones

I jumped on the Game Of Thrones bandwagon this evening, and started watching it.

However, I made a very big mistake of watching episode 9, thinking it was episode 1! The penultimate episode gave away an awful lot, and left me wondering what the hell was going on... It was then I discovered my PS3, had organised ten in a starne order and I was watching episode 9, as that was too of the list...

I did my best to erase everything I had just watched from my memory, and then watched the actual first episode, and thoroughly enjoyed it!

#118: My Beautiful Boudoir

***Sean. If you are reading this, please stop now. You will find out why soon, but now is not the time.***

Sorry other readers! Lets get back on topic, shall we?

I have been planning for a couple of months now, to have a Boudoir Photoshoot. It's worth £200, and I got it for £20. Score!

The morning, involved a lot of travelling. A total of an hour and a half just to get there, was spent on the bus...

I arrived at the studio for 11:30, and was sat down, with various photo albums, to look at. As I flicked through, sipping at the mug of a cinnamon and liquorice tea, I decided what look I wanted to go for, and was then whisked away for hair and make up.

Me and Evie, my makeup artist, chatted and clicked instantly. I found out she knew a couple of my friends, and was a singer and guitar player in a band. There wasn't a lot of awkward conversation. It all flowed naturally.

After I was done, it was time for my Photoshoot! I slipped into my chosen underwear, twisted about, posed around, and was photographed in many different shots, and outfits.

After I was done, it was time to choose my photograph. There were a total of 60 successful photographs. I narrowed the best down to 15, then picked my favourite from that.

I had such a brilliant time. It was a very self invigorating experience, and one that should be done by all! No matter your shape or size.

Neil, the photographer, was excellent at getting the right angels, and looks for what I wanted, and made me look and feel my best.

Women! Go out an get yourself a Boudoir Photoshoot. Men! Do the same! It's awesome!

It's going to take about a month for my 3 prints of the same image, to be ready, but as soon as they are, one of them will be a present for Sean. It will probably be a 1 year anniversary present, from when we first became official.

A great gift, no?!

#117: Riding With The Top Down

Today was one of those days where everything is just great!

Me and Andy went for a meal, at The Coal Grill, then I did a little shopping for my Photoshoot tomorrow. We then watched Danny Boyle's new film, Chance, and on our way home, I treated us to some chips.

We rode along with the top down, and played out some of my favourite songs, including Broken Wings, by Mr. Mister, Ace Of Spades, by Motörhead, and Dirtee Cash, by Dizzee Rascal. I can tick that off of my bucket list! :)

#116: Reunited With My Scarf!

I got called into work for overtime this morning, and couldn't have been happier about it. I ended up having a really good day and geeking out with a friend from work about games, Red Dwarf, and Doctor Who, and discussing tattoos and poetry.

When I arrived home, I discovered the scarf I had bought another of, after my other had been stolen a fortnight ago, had arrived in the post! All round awesome day!

The next couple of days are also going to be great. I have lunch, shopping, and cinema with Andy tomorrow, then my Boudoir Photoshoot on Wednesday. I cannot wait.

Geeking out. Gifts to and from myself. Making plans. It's the little things in life. What makes you feel excited and happy? :)

#115: Wheat Free Catastrophy

In Wells, it's hard to eat out, when 1: you have very little money, and 2: most places that sell cheap food, such as Geggs, or coffee shops only sell food that is wheat based. I'll usually go for a tomato soup from Greggs, some olives, a banana, and a packet of crisps, from Co-Op, when I'm on my lunch break, but unless you have somewhere warm and dry to eat your, you're screwed.

In Bath, you have a lovely pub I like to go to, called The Lamb And Lion. Here, you can buy Buy One Get One Free meals, for only £5.95! A glass of house wine is around £2, and the food is delicious! Now why can't we have a place like that in Wells?!

I end up resulting to going to Tesco, and heading back to Sean, which is perfectly lovely, but not if you want a change!

Eating out is great fun, and should be enjoyed, but never too often that you get bored of it.

Me and Sean decided that heading home for some soup and pasta would be ideal, on this occasion. But not before we took pictures, and poked fun at each other. Sitting here and laughing with your best friend is free, and far much more fun, anyway! So, I'll take a rain check on your £11.95 roast dinner, thanks!

#114: "I'm 5 and a half years old!"

We went out for a meal this evening to celebrate Paul's birthday. Gifted in wrap, was a Megatron mask, accompanied by a talking megatron birthday card... A lot of entertainment was passed about the table.

My favourite Transformer was always Bumblebee. Although it was considered a disability to the other Transformers, it's tuning-in radio station voice box always made me have a soft spot for Bumblebee.

Boys are, and always will be boys. Like it or not. They never loose their inner Transformer, or Power Ranger. Just as Grandads never loose their love for their trainsets, and men, their love for cars. So why are we so reluctant to admit to our inner child, if we're all the same?

People feel as if they cannot be too enthusiastic towards something they feel passionate about. Otherwise, it is considered childish, or unprofessional. This saddens me.

One if the greatest things about children is that they have a great innocence. A child is completely oblivious as to what is wrong or right, what is socially acceptable, or what is considered "appropriate behaviour".

As we grow up, and grow old, most of us are conformed into becoming something that we are not, in order to feel socially excepted. To live by these rules is wrong. To be a geek, a child, or an enthusiast; to get excited over something that make us feel excited. It is indeed a very special thing.

I am one if the biggest children you will meet. I love Disney, I laugh and giggle like a little girl. I'll admit that I've been known to have tantrum, and I still sleep with 6 teddy bears on my bed... So fucking what?! I know when it's appropriate to act maturely, and I know when it's OK to let go of my inhibitions, and just be happy and content with who I am.

If you feel uneasy about letting go of what is expected of you, try doing something slightly scary or challenging, that is totally out of character for you. Then experience that indescribable feeling of what it is like to be out if your comfort zone. Enjoy it!

It's OK to find your innocence, and enjoy that fuzzy feeling you get from something childish. Keep that feeling close to you, and never let it go. It is special and it needs to be protected. If you hold onto it forever, it is the one thing that will set you free. You would have kept this one personality trait, from when you were young, and it will entitle you to true happiness.

Now excuse me whilst I slip of my heels, grab my fluffy booties, build a fort from couch cushions and blankets, and watch The Lion King!

#113: Ocean Flower Beauty

I've had a good day at work, I booked my photo shoot for my Boudoir experience, and I've been making fun plans for the upcoming week. I'm feeling in a pretty good mood.

Usually, when I'm feeling negative in some way, an explosion of art will release it's freedom onto a lined sheet of paper, known as abstract. However, this time, I was definitely not in a negative mood, and this beauty came out because of it.

Nice to know I don't have to be in a bad mood to produce art! :)

#112: Blades Of Power

To be perfectly honest with you all, I was getting sick of how long Sean's hair was getting, and the lack style, despite spending far too long in front of the mirror, with an obsession, and a can of hair spray! (Sorry Sean...) So, I decided to grab the blades of power and go to town on that mop! ...And now? Beautiful!

Only one song comes to mind when I look at it now... ;)

http://youtu.be/lC6vZOgYduk

#111: xoxo

So, when I got home from work, I knew exactly what needed to be done... I spent my entire evening finishing the first season of gossip girl, for the second time round. It was just as good as I'd remembered!

I also spent my time drooling over outfits, and having the realisation of with how similar I am to the character, Serena Van Der Woodson. Tall, blonde(ish), has the laugh like a four-year-old, with a past full of partying, accompanied huge mistakes made, trying to move on in my life... Oh the drama!

Lets have a picture of our lovely beauty.

#110: Arts And Crafts

I got bored with my old lampshade, so I decided to spruce things up a bit, with the scarf my mum wore to my sisters wedding over a decade ago.

I wrapped it around, tied a not, then pulled part over the top, and tucked the excess around the edges.

Wallah! Beautiful!

#109: A Little Appreciation Please

Wells is the smallest city in England. It takes me roughly 45 minutes to walk from one end, to the other. I pass it's Cathedral nearly everyday, and always make a note to appreciate it.

People come from all over the world to visit Wells, and to set their eyes upon the beauty of it's great cathedral.

This is why I feel it's so important to not lose your perception of how special something really is, just because you see it every day... Just like most things in life!

Your annoying family, your flakey friends, your dog that won't stop shitting on the rug? Look closer... What do they really mean to you?

#108: Dreaming Of Amsterdam

So, I've decided I'm going to make it to Amsterdam for my birthday, this year! I want to go about on the canal boats, drink coffee, eat the best mayo and mushrooms in the world, and have purple haze all in my eyes. I can not wait!

Here's a couple of pictures of when I went to Amsterdam, back in March 2010.

Lets do it again!

#107: Godney Spears

At work today, I was approached by the local newspaper, and was asked to give my opinion on what I thought about Britney Spear's new found love for Godney, in Glastonbury... I had no idea what the nice lady was on about. Apparently Britney had been tweeting about how much she loves Godney. Fans had responded and had nicknamed her "Godney Spears". I gave my opinion on her myself and what I thought. A pretty strange way to start my day, but funny nonetheless.

#106: Busking

Walking through town, my ears were pleasantly greeted by the sounds of a violin, and a flute, that were being played across the street from me. Buskers!

I heard the other day that Wells is on of the only city's left in England that still allow busking legally... Which would explain why they're always on the high street.

I think it's fantastic! Busking is a brilliant thing. The people of Wells, whether they are just visiting, or local residents are welcomed into the arms music. They may not usually take the time of day to listen to this song, genre, or even artist, but are greeted with sounds, to and from work, on lunch breaks, shopping trips, fleets through town, or meetings with a friends. It invites everyone to come together and appreciate the sounds of the beautiful music being played around you, and through the city...

As I am already familiar with performing publicly, at open mic, I feel I could sing a little easier infront of a high street more easily than others, but I still feel it's a pretty large step... Maybe someday in the future!

#105: A Healthy Lifestyle

If I was to be perfectly honest, I would say that since starting work, I am shocked and appalled at how unhealthy people eat. I have come across people who drink multiple energy drinks a day, eat tons of sweets, pastry, and sugar. Don't get me wrong, all those things are excellent... But in moderation! Not every single day.

On a daily basis, my diet usually consists of porridge for breakfast, and a wrap, or some soup, with a banana for lunch. If i get hungry between lunch and dinner, I'll usually have some crisps, or a cereal bar for a snack, or sometimes both. My main meal is usually a curry or a pasta, then I treat myself to some chocolate in the evening. I drink green tea, water, and juice, throughout the day.

I am probably the healthiest person I know, along with my mum, sister, Carla, and now Sean, (but that's only because I have taught him the ways). People really needs to start respecting their bodies more.

Our bodies are the most important thing we will ever own, they are priceless, and are completely irreplaceable. We have to look after them.

Saying that, it is also important to not worry too much, and to remember to enjoy the naughty things that we love to devour, so much. We will evidentially enjoy the tastes of these things more, when you do decide to treat ourselves to it, as the wait would have improved the taste. It's the same principle of food always tasting better when you are hungry, in to comparison of feeling just a little peckish.

And lastly, it's important to remember that you will always here of something being bad for you. Most things now have something wrong with them, or eating them will cause this and that etc, but anything and everything can be eating in moderation. Moderating your food and having a balanced diet is the key to a healthy lifestyle.

Here's one I prepared earlier...

#104: Exploring...

If you're in a place that you are unfamiliar with, and have never been before, take a walk, and explore. Follow a path, look around, and see what you can find. You never know what you might come across.

I had to wait for a bus back from Cheddar, and had 15 minutes to spare...

I took a stroll around a winding road, and found myself walking through a lovely area of houses and gardens. I came across a beautiful cottage in particular, that I immediately began daydreaming about.

This little neighbourhood is the type of place I would love to find myself living in one day, after I had had enough of the hustle and bustle of the city life. A place close enough to civilisation, but secluded enough to see the stars sparkle against a midnight sky. A place wear nature would grow freely, finding myself completely at ease, and feeling peaceful.

#103: Your Sweetness Is My Weakness

Lets indulge, shall we? With the leftovers of Easter, I have earned the right to enjoy a guiltless gluttony, unlike every other day of the year, (besides Christmas).

But whoa now... I'm not so greedy, that I plan to eat all of this at once. I plan to pace myself, and enjoy the wait of each turn, that the chocolate will take. "Too much of a good thing" after all!

Chocolate is one of my weaknesses. Along with the temptation to have something I know that I am not allowed.

Having physical control over something that leaves you weak at the knees, and lusting over, shows good will power, and gets you the respect of others. Having mind control over these things gets you self respect, and a feeling of content. To have both forms of control, you will require learning, time, stamina, and the feeling of regret for some. But as a result, this leaves you with the reward of happiness.

Will power. Respect. Self Respect. Content.

Do you have all four?

#102: Let's Take A Walk...

I took a walk today, as the sun slowly set. We shot hoops, kicked balls, and picked litter from the ponds. My hands were cold, but my heart was warmed by you. You made it all better today. You turned how I was feeling upside down, from down to up, in the way that you do. Thank you. I need your ways to lift my mood, and your arms to warm mine, and to comfort my wounds. Thank you.